Hey Ghouls! Abi and Phoebe from Heroine Zine here! We’re thrilled to be here on Queen of the Track’s blog, as we’ve been thoroughly enjoying everything posted so far for the big Halloween Extravaganza…
If you haven’t heard from us before, we’re all about publishing and showcasing women writers and artists from Liverpool and beyond- and we especially love ourselves some fiction. So, as part of our day long Halloween blog takeover, we wanted to create the ULTIMATE list of Creepy Heroines in Fiction. We thought it would only be fitting. We’ve broken our heroines down into 3 categories - The Top Witches, Top Evil Queens and Top Anti-Heroines. So get your pointy hat, crown, or bitchy resting face on, and sit back while we get creepy.
TOP 3 CREEPY WITCHES
The Witches from Hocus Pocus
ABI: These witches were my childhood Halloween costume inspiration every year from the age of 8-14. I loved them, couldn’t get enough of them. When I reached my teenage years and realised Sarah Jessica Parker played Sarah Sanderson as well as Carrie Bradshaw, my life was complete. Along with the fantastic Bette Middler’s buck teeth, their pure naughtiness, and the charming innocence of early 90’s movies; these three witches would be burning with fire and brimstone if they didn’t make our list!
The Grand High Witch from The Witches
ABI: Another piece of pure 1990’s gold. Being a Roald Dahl child, Halloween wasn’t complete without a re-run of the The Witches. The Grand High Witch haunted me for nights afterward a viewing. Superbly incarnated by Angelica Houston, the sickly sweet simpering of her voice mixed with that horrific face underneath her mask was enough to send any 10 year old over the edge. Seriously, the woman can turn you into a mouse. That shit is scary.
Bellatrix Lestrange from the Harry Potter series
PHOEBE: In the most perfect casting choice ever, Helena Bonham Carter is Bellatrix Lestrange, the most dangerous witch of J.K Rowling’s books by far, as well as one of the only women in Voldermort’s inner-circle. Bellatrix earns her creepy heroine status for giving The Dark Lord a run for his galleons with her sickening duelling skills, having the best witchy bitch cackle of all time AND being the last Death Eater left standing at the end of the Harry Potter series. You can’t fault the girl for being the top of her game.
TOP 3 CREEPY QUEENS
The Red Queen from Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland
ABI: Helena Bonham Carter is the true queen of my heart, there is no end to the love I have for this woman. Besides the fact she rides round London on her crappy push-bike with a floppy top hat and fingerless gloves, she is endlessly reinventing herself for films. Burton’s Alice in Wonderland is no exception. Is there anyone who hasn’t tried and failed to be the Red Queen for Halloween? The shrill voice, blue eye shadow and manic tendencies… apparently she took inspiration from her daughter; 'The Red Queen is just like a toddler, because she's got a big head and she's a tyrant'
The Evil Queen from Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
PHOEBE: Oh my god, how Disney got away with the creepy old hag scenes of Snow White, I will never know - as a child my mum would regularly fast forward our VHS when the Evil Queen popped up. When she’s not terrifying children with her weird cape/ apple-in-hand combo, she’s an uber-glam queen chilling in a tower. She’s obsessed with being the fairest of them all, and her bessy mate is a talking mirror - teaching a lesson to kids everywhere that too much narcissism is a bit fucked up.
Sharon Needles from RuPaul’s Drag Race
PHOEBE: America’s Next Drag Superstar and alter-ego of Iowa born Aaron Coady, Sharon Needles is by far the Queen of Halloween Chic, and serving a lot of creepy realness. She stole our hearts on RuPaul’s Drag Race and has since released spooky singles such as ‘Call Me on the Ouija Board’ and ‘This Club is a Haunted House’. Though she’s not strictly fiction, she’s deffo a work of art and had to earn a spot on our Top 3 Creepy Queens.
TOP 3 CREEPY ANTI-HEROINES
Lisbeth Salander from The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Series
ABI: Now. Let’s get this straight. We’re talking about the original Swedish films played by Noomi Rapace. This fantastic actor hits every mark with this difficult and dark character. 'The survivor of a traumatic childhood, Salander is highly introverted, asocial and has difficulty connecting with people' Rapace is the perfection of bad-ass bitch, all in black. She’s our anti-heroine because she does bad things, but for good reasons. If you’ve watched the scene with her abusive guardian Nils Bjurman, then you know what we’re talking about.
Marla Singer from Fight Club
PHOEBE: When I did Film Studies at Sixth Form, I had to write an essay on Marla Singer, the anti-heroine of Fight Club’s masculine-focussed headfuck, and grew a bit obsessed with her complex character. And so Helena Bonham-Carter appears for the THIRD time on our Creepy Heroine list, this time as the misunderstood hot mess that is Marla. She inspires, disgust, and challenges the characters of Chuck Palahunik’s modern classic, makes the audience want to laugh and cry, and we love her to death for it. Can we hold her hand and watch the world fall apart too?
The Bride in Kill Bill
ABI: Yet another Tarantino masterpiece. How many times have I been shouted at over the bar; 'Here love, you look like that bird off of Kill Bill' You know what? I’ll take that compliment. The Bride/Beatrix Kiddo/Black Mamba, is the ultimate Halloween dream of every blonde bobbed bird in the world. Please dear Beatrix; teach me your Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique. Or if not that; can I borrow the yellow jumpsuit for next week?
SPECIAL BONUS ROUND
Christine from Christine
ABI: Special Bonus Round! Featuring Christine. Yes Christine is a possessed car from Stephen King’s novel, adapted into John Carpenter’s 1983 film. I remember one Halloween, my family and I turned off all the lights to deter the trick-or-treaters, made a tonne of popcorn and hibernated in the living room to watch this film. This freaky story of a possessed and possessive car, owned by young Arnie was the perfect antidote to the usual Halloween nonsense of teenage suburbia. Christine is a beautiful red and white 1958 Plymouth Fury. As the daughter of a classic car dealer, this was the most important factor of the film. Looking back on it now, it’s how totally awesome it is, that there is a possessed car called Christine, controlling a man!
Bonus Joint-Heroine Round
Patsy Stone from Absolutely Fabulous
This woman right here is our spirit animal, and here’s why!
Abi: Ever since my mother sat me down in front of Ab Fab, aged 12 and named me Saffy for disapproving of her antics with her best friend, I’ve been addicted. As I’ve got older, I’ve come to realise; it’s all about Ms Patsy Stone! Aged 30 something for the last twenty years, hiding spliffs in her beehive and drinking bolly for breakfast, she’s the woman I wouldn’t mind growing up to be. Last year, I did dress up as Patsy for Halloween. I spent most of the evening crying into a bottle of Cava. It was fucking fabulous. Sweety.
Phoebe: I was recently introduced to Ab Fab by Abi and it’s my new binge-watching fave. When I think of Patsy, I think of dirty-stop-out glamour and her no apologies approach to doing whatever the hell she wants. Sweety. Dahling. She’s completely despicable to poor Saffy, doesn’t understand what 7:30 in the morning means, and has never paid for anything in her life, dahling, but she’s a heroine for her unwavering loyalty to Eddie, her rock and roll queenliness and her creepy-yet-witty mean streak.
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